the visual language of crackpot websites (quick thought)

Reading Time: 3 minutes

After visiting (boston’s most trust source 4 weather)

and calling the hexagonal awareness hotline at 617.600.0606 “for immediate hexagonal assistance”,


i developed this conspiracy theory that all crackpot websites shared the same visual language.

In general, a twisted visual style to match the twisted intellectual content. —

Sadly my conspiracy theory has been dis-proven, which just goes to show how poor a crackpot I make :(

Thought: what do crackpot websites in other languages look like? Surely there must be crackpot Chinese physicists. do they make classical ugly websites along the lines of or is the more recent widespread internet usage in China than in US contribute to visual differences in crackpot websites there? What about Arabic or any other language?

Thought2: I should make a crackpot-CSS-styled website that actually gives very useful technical information, for instance serves up digikey datasheets.

Thought3: The complement to that is the take the trending-startup-webdesign or facebook design or hip bootstrap styles and make a slick looking website utterly filled with crackpottery. may encounter difficulty distinguishing it from your generic Industry Changing Startup website though. hmm.

anyway, you tell me which of the below websites are crackpot websites:

Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:26:00 Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:24:32 Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:19:04 Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:18:33 Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:18:16 Screenshot from 2015-02-21 01:17:10

answer: all crackpots, probably, except weatherishappening (for sure) and hexnet (probably, he seems like a pretty chill dude. he showed up at, and really, if we don’t judge people who collect stamps (they even have a name, philatelics), why should we judge people who collect hexagons?)

And to close, here’s a gem of a crackpot:

NB: You can read this essay as science fiction or science fact. It’s up to you.

First Some Theory

One of the most elegant forms of ZPE devices is the Dirac Current Positron Generator. Once you can finesse the low energy generation of positrons from the quantum vacuum, letting nature supply the bulk of the energy requirement for the task, you then can release large amounts of usable “free energy” by simply letting the positrons annihilate with electrons under controlled conditions. …

What is nifty about our process, though, is that we can “freeze” the sc condensate into a permanent steady state much like the frozen positrons that are stuck inside the protons or like concubines sequestered in a harem. The sexless quark eunuchs insulate the sexy positrons so the poor horny bachelor electrons nearby just can’t get in close enough to mate with them and go out in the orgasmic glory they desire. So the charged up electrons do the next best thing and go into “mental” fantasies and complex ritual patterns. That generates EM fluxes and molecular structures that weave a complex web around the protons. A kind of “civilization” emerges with a wonderful variety of long-lasting sublimation rites.

wat. what did i just read.


yours truly in wasting time on crackpot websites,
~ orangenarwhals


thanks to the original reviewer / theorist of just how crackpotty these crackpot websites are,

The TimeBlimp Universal Theory of Crackpot Websites:

1. Horrendous grammar, spelling, and general use of language

2. Declaration that some pillar of science is completely wrong

3. Unprofessional, irritated, emotional tone to the explanations.

4. They usually have websites (what better way to publish to the masses), and their websites are almost always one gigantic continuous long stream of text and figures in one page. The site design is awful, with clashing colors, abuse of blinking text, terrible font sizes and colors. Oh, and they often use ALL CAPS TO EMPHASIZE POINTS, and embellish important sentences with lots of exclamation points!!!! In general, a twisted visual style to match the twisted intellectual content.

5. Invention of their own definitions

Head over to to read in-depth reviews of each crackpot website, as well as the reveal of the winning crackpottiest crackpot website!

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